Failure

Today I failed greatly. In my professional work, the greatest failure of my career. The organization I work for has a long standing history of winning competitions. In this particular line of competitions, it hasn't lost in five years.

There are plenty of things factored in to this, but at the end of the day, it comes down to the fact that I didn't measure up, plain and simple.

In 2021, I came into my new professional home like a bolt of lightning. I proved myself through competence, confidence and an unmatched work ethic. I met A LOT of resistance along way from upper level management, peers, and employees for how hard charging I was.

We had a holiday event that required a decorating team and the person in charge simply had too much going on. So, me being the new guy as well slowly earning peoples confidence, put forth a case that I would be able to finish the work she had started.

It was a lot of long hours and a lot of art work which is something I take very little interest in participating in. Money was spent that shouldn't have been spent and never reimbursed. Time was lost, employees were disgruntled and I had leadership questioning every decision I made and in turn, had me questioning myself.

I had to take a lot of small meetings in and bursts of motivational speeches in what was considered a highly probable failure project due to such poor infrastructure.

When the day came and the judges came through, all the fatigue and all the doubt disappeared because given the circumstances and the limited time given, the quality that was displayed had no right being as good as it was.

We won and we won big because at the end of the day, there was an actual that needed to be resolved that I could identify; Culture.

In this organization and across it many entities, the values and principles that drive the strength and success have simply plummeted. Everything that it once was, has been eroded by what is and by what is coming.

This issue has been a singular focus of mine as a manager since at least 2016 and has helped me rectify a myriad of managerial issues that had unchecked for years.

The biggest ones were toxic employees becoming toxic leaders, creating toxic work environments.

The worst thing about that is that meritocracy and earned opportunities for decent, hard working individuals went to charismatic, hostile, cut throat individuals who were willing to say and do what was necessary to get what they wanted.

I learned a lot about will in those years of being a manager. Will is much like nature, not truly evil, not truly good, it simply is. Humans have desires and intentions, and the means they use to get them is entirely subjective in most cases.

In my case, it matters on three thing regarding job performance: Competence, Character and consistency.

What I learned about this interesting dynamic is that not only the opportunity to advance gone, but the competencies learned in those opportunities.

As time would would wear on, the employees seizing the opportunities were becoming knowledgeable and proficient, but were not putting in any work as often as possible.

While the employees who were hard working and decent, were becoming resentful and frustrated.

There was an employee that was next in line for a management position. She was excellent in every area and would have made a great manager.

Unfortunately, she had such terrible experiences with prior management that she turned it down and chose to go her own path.

That was genuinely disheartening to me, but I understood and respected her decision.

That lead to Senior Manager to have to weigh his options as the next choice until the next incoming manager wouldn't be available for the next six months.

While there were more senior managers that could fill the position, I was chosen.

It's not to say that there weren't great options, just that what I gave and offered was more required at the time.

I filled the position of manager over that Restaurant knowing I only had six months before I would be transferred to my new location.

The key things I focused on specific to to my organization were as follows:

Giving time back to employees across the board

Recognizing the merits of all employees

Rewarding those employees with time to study and compete for workplace advancements

Simplifying Menu building and planning to balance budgeting and employee labor

Holistic lifestyle Training using approved instructors in Finance, Health, and goal setting.

Things began to slowly change in terms of morale in exchange for a leaner menu so that training could actually be implemented to improve the quality of life for my peers and employees.

Unfortunately in that time, most of the damage done by prior leadership led to great employees having already made up their minds before any real change could convince them to stay on board.

They got better overall, but too much resentment had been built up and they chose to look for greener pastures else where.

While I will always them and their decision, the principle as to why they still chose to leave under my management still bothers me to this day.

Back to 2021.

After that victory, I chose to build a better culture the best way I know; healthy competition. There are several performance evaluations that all employees of all experience ranges can compete at.

The unfortunate part about this, is the same as every other organization. Long hours, and no dedicated time for employees and managers to study and practice for the event.

They (Upper management) want the glory of an employees success, but don't want to give the employee any type of compensation for taking on the added social pressure of putting themselves out for the the entire organization to see.

Then when that employee crashes and burns, it's either "you gave your best and failing is okay despite that you were required to participate last minute."

Or, on average have them go again under the exact same set of circumstances (long hours, no dedicated time to study and practice) and they build up an anxiety and resent management for it.

So, in order to begin setting an example of how things should operate, I volunteered myself.

I began putting in hours and the same old raggedy way, and won an initial performance evaluation.

I began asking my employees if they would like to participate and as predicted, two of them agreed with no real issues other than finding time.

One of them took second in 2021 and is still a hard charger today despite some set backs, but that's a story for another time.

Fast forward to 2022, myself and my employee both competed in a in our respective categories performance evaluation against two other entities in our organization with minimal prep time, and guess what? We win, which qualifies us to compete again for the "performance of the year" Award around December.

The competition was more or less as unprepared as us as they face the same issues. Still I hared the same energy as I do every day because I want better competition the next time.

Word spreads fast the the new manager won again and the stigma around competition begins to seem a bit less daunting to others

Confidence from other employees and managers begins to show around me as well a interest in working with me on my shift, but with that, social pressure to always perform at a higher level.

Fast forward again to the next performance evaluation. Seems like there are more competitors this time around. It seems competing management is starting to take notice.

I take it again, unfortunately, the work load with my employee proved to be too much and truthfully, the pressure was beginning to mount on me too.

Once again, the performance evaluation competitions are becoming a bit less daunting and I am beginning peak the interest in other employees and upper management is starting to put pressure on my fellow managers and employees to participate, but to little avail, simply adding more pressure.

Finally in around July, the day came for the "Performance evaluation of the year" The runner up from the last competition is here again and she looks much more focused this time around. Admittedly, I am extremely nervous because presentation is still not my strong suit and it looks like she has that in spades.

I have an employee to aid me, and he is a bit more experienced in refinement. I lean into him, and I ask for his advice. He talks me through his vision and I agree.

I am looking at here presentations and I am thinking she might take this one.

We put the finishing touches on each of our categories, and give our closing statements.

I'm shaking and screaming internally, but externally, I am laughing and smiling.

The results are read, and much to my relief, I am declared victorious.

In the closing months, we did some work in another state and I was in charge of managing repairs at another building and I had made HUGE improvements to it across the board.

So much so, the management in charge knew of me by name and entity and was tell my upper management every opportunity he got.

It was a perfect way to close out 2022.

Fast Forward to 2023.

I am requested to work on a mobile location because the gentlemen requested just had a child. It has better hours, but much less direct employee development.

I declined, but said I would what was needed of me. I did not want to sacrifice the momentum I had been building the last year to do a mobile, less challenging job that would most likely result in losing my competitive edge.

I had also built training and development plan for my current entity that we had agreed upon implementing at the start of 2023.

I ended up on the mobile site.

The next three and a half months consisted of upper management disappearing, doing jobs outside of my duty scope due to limited resources, current management not correcting disrespectful and malingering employees, and taking the extra hours a day upon myself to actually train employees how to properly perform their duties, and verbally and administratively counsel them on their performances.

Of course this discouraged hard workers and building them up was another taking I undertook, but under no circumstances, do I regret it and am proud of the their progression, and to be fair, I did have a good overall manager.

I spent roughly the same amount of time as my old position and new position with less employees due the cultural decline set by the exact same problem in 2016.

Toxic Employees, become toxic leaders, creating toxic work environments.

I came back to being requested to Compete on grandest team performance evaluation of the year with three employees, one that hasn't been lost in four to five years.

It didn't occur to me that my apprehensions of going to the mobile site were going to affect me the way they did during this request.

It was lot of pressure and in hindsight, more than I was prepared to deal with. I had already stated my reluctance to say yes due to my inexperience with presentations as this was supposed to be fine dining.

I am also very hands on and need a lot of time to really get techniques down.

Upper management assured me that I would have a coach and that I would have time to practice. Simply send the menu.

Between scheduling, losing personnel, food not being ordered in time, the required preparation despite the month long lead out and all my apprehensions after that three month long mental sludge fest, we lost like I never lost before.

I had a great crew, but the overall inexperience and lack of in depth training and skills at this level simply proved too much for my limited skill set.

I ended up asking for help through another upper manager, but he could only train me so much and more along the lines of pointers and accessories

Drive, determination, delegation and mass production of quality products is a different beast from small, specific and detail oriented food service.

Without a strong enough cause to fight for off the bat, I just didn't have what it took pull this off.

I failed.

On grand scale I failed my organization, but on a more personal scale, I failed my employees after teaching them so much and earning their respect as a reliable Manager prior to this.

That hurts more than anything.

Failing myself is one thing, but failing people who trust and respect me brings a different kind of shame and guilt.

On the grandest stage of our organization, that hasn't lost in five years.

Failing them like that doesn't just hurt, it's a betrayal on my part.

With this shame, the only path to redemption and earning anyone's trust and respect to what I would deem acceptable, I am really going to have to make serious organizational impact.

So here it is;

By 2023 August 23;

1.)I will have two Website Programs Up and Running;

Organizational Overall and Specialized Life Coaching

Lifestyle Coaching

2.)I will create at a Cultural Development Program

3.)I will have an Organizational Development Program

4.) I will have the necessary Credentialing to move up in Management

5.) 152.5 LBS

I will blog on this site each impressionable night and keep you up to date on my progress

Without this, no redemption, and $1,000.00 donation to charity.